Have you seen Instagram TikTok and Pinterest’s ‘That Girl” trend that looks perfect and almost far from reality, and you’re wondering, “How to be that girl in 2023”?
You know those reels or Tiktoks you see where she wakes up at 4 am, reads, journals, cleans, exercises, prepares a healthy breakfast, showers, picks out clothing from her super organized closet, applies makeup, and sets off to work or school within a set time frame.
And you wish to become that girl. You want to get super organized, build a healthy morning, get into journaling, exercise, eat healthy and practice affirmation.
While the concept of becoming that seems more of an aesthetics on Instagram, Tiktok, and Pinterest as it portrays the lifestyle of an intentional girl who has her life (or pretends to have her life) together.
The concept of being that girl is more of Personal development and self-improvement.
It’s about a confident girl who walks into a room with her head high and lives intentionally, productively, and healthily.
But Let’s be honest; the perception of becoming that girl on social seems like a girl whose life is put, and it seems so easy for her to build new habits and routines and stick to them.
Building a habit can be difficult, let alone sticking to a morning routine when learning new things.
However, starting and incorporating tiny habits can lead to significant changes in your life.
And if you want to learn how to become that girl in 2023 without losing your mind or falling off that girl habit every few days, I got you.
You’re in luck because I have put together this doable and easy “how to become that girl checklist”. So you can become that girl in 2023.
Before that, what does it mean to be that girl? Is the “that girl trend” worth following?
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What Does it Mean to Become That Girl?
Becoming that girl involves being intentional about how you live, your personal development, health, lifestyle, and goals.
It entails waking up early, having a morning and self routine, organizing your life, and living and eating healthy.
Becoming that girl means prioritizing your mental, physical, and emotional health. It emphasizes focusing on “YOU,” your well-being, growth, goals, and health.
Now you know what it means to become that girl, and I know the next question is, “How to be that girl“?
How to Be That Girl Step by Step (20 Practical Ways)
Do you want to learn how to be that girl in 20233? No problems, 20 easy and practical ways to be that girl without losing yourself.
Kindly note; that this checklist on how to become that girl goes beyond having a That Girl Tiktok or Instagram aesthetics.
It involves intentionally changing your life emotionally, physically, and mentally and not just doing it for the Gram.
1. Reframe Your Mindset
When learning how to be that girl, changing your mindset is one of the most important That Girl habits to cultivate. Our mindset affects how we see and perceive ourselves, situations, and things around us.
Reframe your mindset, start thinking positively, eliminate the “victim mindset,” and step out of your comfort zone.
If you feel stuck with negative thoughts and always seeing negative things about yourself, try journaling and affirming.
Here are some positive affirmations you could use to reframe your mindset
- I am a Priority
- My mental health is important, and I disconnect from anything that doesn’t bring me peace.
- My body is unique; I value it and take care of it.
- I wake up early and prioritize my productivity.
- Self-care is not a chore, so I’ll care for myself.
- I’m worthy of love.
- I accomplish great things and reach my goals.
- I’m worthy of good loving.
- I’m confident.
- I don’t have time for myself.
- I can’t do it.
Use those positive words instead of speaking negatively or saying words like;
- I hate my body.
- Self-care is too difficult.
- I can’t afford it.
- I’m not pretty enough.
- Things are always hard for me
- I don’t think I can do it
- She is better than I am.
- I’m not responsible for what happens to me.
When you reframe your mindset, you’ll realize the power your thoughts hold over you.
Reframing your mind with positive words is not some theory; it works for me.
So, if you want to become that girl in 2023, start by reframing your mind.
2. Set Attainable Goals and Slay Them
If you desire to achieve anything in life, goal setting is compulsory.
To build that girl habit, you must set achievable goals. That means starting with one or two goals at a time.
When you see “that girl” on Tiktok, you feel intimidated and ask yourself, how can I get to this level of being organized and looking near perfect?
While I’m not a fan of following everything you see on social media, they can be misleading.
However, if you desire to become that girl in 2023, start setting goals for yourself.
For example: If you wake up late, never exercise, your apartment is messy, and you eat just anything.
It would be best to start organizing your apartment and setting out at least one day a week to clean it thoroughly.
The truth is habits are challenging to build. The same goes for building “that girl habits.” So, set SMART goals, and slay them.
3. Have a Vision Board
There’s this famous saying, “Out of sight, out of mind.” Well, this saying is true.
Have you ever set goals, and after some time, you forget why you want to achieve that goal or lose focus and never achieve those goals?
That’s because your goals and visions are far away from you. You don’t see them daily, and you’re not reminded why you must achieve that goal.
With a vision board, you can save your goals as your phone wallpaper and even print and hang them where you see them daily.
So, think about how you want your life to look and the type of that girl aesthetics you want to build, and save images of what you hope to achieve.
Create a collage with these images showing the exact “that girl” lifestyle you hope to achieve.
PS: My favorite tool is Canva for creating quick digital vision boards, as they have assortments of that girl’s aesthetics to choose from, and you can easily drag and drop. GET CANVA PRO FOR FREE FOR 30-DAYS
4. Have a Morning Routine
Another power habit of that girl is they have a morning routine. Have you seen that girl videos on Tiktok?
That girl on Tiktok wakes up early in the morning, showers, reads, has “me time,” exercises, does skin care, applies makeup, and looks good before leaving.
Not only is having a morning routine essential if you want to learn how to be that girl in 2023. The benefits of having a morning routine can’t be overemphasized.
In fact, as a person, planning my day the night before and creating a morning routine that suits me changed my life and how I handle my business completely.
Therefore, waking up early, at 4 or 5 am, is vital if you want to become that girl in 2023.
Kindly note: you should study your body and find what time works for you and your most productive hours of the day, and it will help you decide how to organize your day and increase productivity.
RELATED: How to Create the Perfect that Girl Night Routine
5. Maintain Good Posture and Poise
Do you know that your posture and poise can show a lot about you without you speaking?
Remember becoming that girl is not only about showcasing a near-perfect lifestyle on Tiktok or Instagram.
Moreover, to become that girl, you need to work on yourself inwardly and outwardly.
Getting your posture and poise right is essential but often overlooked.
I digress. Have you ever been in a restaurant where a girl walks in, and everyone is looking for a minute?
Think about it, is she walking in with her face downwards or her chin upwards and shoulders high? What does she exude? A confident young girl who is beautiful and knows her worth (maybe she adds tax to her worth).
Your posture and poise will tell anyone if you’re a confident girl or insecure.
So, learn to stand upright, walk into a place with your chin up, and sit properly – no slouching.
6. Organize your life
One prominent ‘that Girl habit” is organization.
That girl creates a place for everything. From fancy organization boxes to a well-arranged closet, clothes, and beautiful home decor for her apartment.
Additionally, when you organize your life – clothes, closets, kitchen, meals, emails, finances, and Laundry, you become happy and get a clearer headspace.
I don’t know about you, but I find it difficult to function properly in a cluttered environment; it feels like there’s a battle going on in my head.
Kindly note; that if you’re in a messy season of your life and want to get organized, you need to start from somewhere.
I know you want to learn how to be that girl so badly but don’t overwhelm yourself.
You can start by cleaning out your space, making your bed immediately after you wake up, cooking at home at least twice a week, and cleaning thoroughly at least once a week.
And before you know it, you’ll start building these “that girl habits”.
To Organize your life like that girl;
- Make a list of everything you need to organize.
- Organize every aspect into categories (your work life, school, home (closet, kitchen, drawers, etc., digital files, meals, finance, etc.).
- Start with one category at a time and walk your way through it (this may take a few weeks to finish. Take it slow and steady).
- Declutter, dispose of and donate things you no longer use.
- Have a home for everything (This is my favorite hack. When you have a home for everything, it becomes easy to sort, use, and return items back to their place after using).
- Use drawers, dividers, storage racks, and containers to organize things at home.
7. Embrace a Positive Mindset
Remember while working and showing off the physical aspect of being “that girl.” I mean, those fancy that girl aesthetics posts on Tiktok.
Also, realize that being That Girl is part of a personal development journey. To become that girl, you must embrace a positive “I can do it” mindset.
When working on your mindset, avoid and unfollow accounts and people who constantly make you judge yourself or feel insecure.
Also read books, self-development blogs, and podcasts, and listen to people who help you embrace yourself while motivating you to become the best version of yourself.
8. Consistently Practice Self Care
Let’s be honest; self-care first comes to mind when we talk about becoming that girl.
Because practicing self-care is the most important “that girl habit” you should cultivate.
To become that girl in 2023, you should prioritize your self-care – skin care, wellness, and mental well-being.
That girl has a self and skincare routine that she follows daily and a shower care routine.
One of the goals of that girl is to have clear and healthy skin.
Also, note; that self-care is not a chore. You’re worthy of all the love and care you give to yourself.
9. Make Time for Yourself
Checking in with yourself is essential. Find a few minutes to hours a day and spend it on yourself without interruption if you want to see yourself blossom into that girl.
For me, it’s the few minutes I spend journaling, reading, or decompressing with my favorite show or the extra time I spend in the bath relaxing.
If you’re unsure how to spend at least 30 minutes to an hour of your day on yourself, then start with a self-care menu – a 5-minute self-care menu is enough to help you build this habit.
10. Eat Healthily
Green veggies, oatmeal and lots of fruits, home-cooked meals – the typical food you’ll also see as part of that girl’s aesthetics on TikTok or Instagram.
You need to eat healthily and take your nutrition seriously.
Our food affects our health in many ways, especially junk food.
And if you want to stay fit, you will eat food that promotes weight loss or helps you achieve your health goals.
So, challenge yourself to eat more home-cooked meals, which is also beneficial because it helps you save money.
Image: Iscra
11. Exercise and Stay Fit
Guess one common theme about “That Girl’s Aesthetics” on Tiktok? Yoga or exercising!
Exercising is beneficial to the body, and that girl knows this.
Because you want to stay fit and healthy, you should include exercising or doing Yoga in your daily routine.
It’s common for many people to work out in the morning, but I prefer to work out in the evening for a night owl who switched to being a morning person like me.
As morning is my most productive time, I always focus on my work in the morning.
Whether you go with Yoga, exercise at the gym or HIIT at home, or take long walks.
Find what works best for you and run along with it. The most important aspect is consistency, rather than doing it for the “Gram.”
12. Indulge in Journaling
Journaling is a powerful tool that can transform your mind, change your perception of life, and guide you to a better path.
And if you want to become that girl who lives intentionally and you are not learning how to be that girl just for the aesthetics, then you need to cultivate the habit of journaling.
Because journaling can help you search deeper, identify patterns and behaviors, clarify your goals, track your progress, reflect and evaluate your progress, and practice gratitude.
Journaling helps me find direction, unburden myself, release anxiety, and, most importantly, allow me to have a clear headspace.
So, don’t become that girl just for the aesthetics, be intentional and start journaling.
And if you need help figuring out where to start, this is for you- how to journal effectively.
PS: The five-minute and one-line-a-day journals are my favorite journals that I swear by.
13. Wear Minimal Makeup
How does wearing minimal makeup help you to be that girl?
Here is the thing, becoming that girl isn’t about your one-off actions. It’s about everything you do daily to achieve that girl lifestyle.
From how you dress, et., the type of clothing you wear, your poise and posture, fitness, etc
Physical appearance is one of the most important factors to consider when learning to be that girl, and the type of makeup you wear affects your appearance.
Have you seen that girl on TikTok? They keep their makeup simple, smooth, and minimal, allowing their natural beauty to shine through.
Minimal makeup gives you a more natural, soft, and effortless look.
Wearing minimal makeup is appealing, and it shows you’re confident and authentic, allows your natural beauty to shine, and makes you look chic and elegant.
PS: Always use a clean mascara brush after applying to brush out clumps and separates lashes
Keep your lips smooth. Also, take care of your teeth (it helps you smile confidently), and keep clear, clean skin (moisturize, and apply sunscreen to avoid sunburn).
Besides, full-cover makeup won’t be necessary when you have a good skincare routine.
14. Hydrate, Hydrate, and Hydrate
Have you seen those beautiful water bottles on That Girl’s Tiktok Aesthetics?
That is because drinking water is essential for the body, and I know this is no news in 2023.
However, many people wait until they are thirsty before drinking water – this won’t help you take the required amount of daily water.
To hydrate properly, keep a bottle of water around you and take a sip occasionally.
Before now, I struggled with drinking water, knowing it was terrible for my health.
So, I got this water bottle I keep beside my workspace, and it helps me drink a lot of water.
15. Dress Well
Your dressing is one of the most important aspects of being that girl.
It doesn’t necessarily mean you have to become someone different. You can maintain your dressing style yet up it to look better.
Challenge yourself to wear clothes that fit correctly, get rid of old, faded, stretched-out clothes, and keep your fashion elegant.
Avoid wearing shoes that make you uncomfortable.
For instance, wearing 6-inch heels makes me super uncomfortable, and my legs hurt throughout the day.
Heels are stylish and elegant, but if you can’t walk properly in them, it’s amusing and looks silly.
So, I switched my 6-inch heels and started wearing 2 to 3-inch block heels, which are game changers.
Therefore, wear nice, comfortable, and stylish shoes. Kindly note that the goal is to look good, comfortable, and stylish.
The goal is to look good, comfortable, and confident while strutting in your shoes.
16. Get Your Hair Done
Good-looking hair affects not only your appearance but also your confidence and demeanor. It also makes you look organized.
If you want to become that girl and look the part, start with your hair.
17. Invest in Knowledge and Have a Reading List
Investing in Knowledge and reading is one of my favorite parts of being that girl.
Investing in Knowledge and personal development is vital if you’re living intentionally.
That girl always has a reading list and is interested in things that help her grow her Knowledge.
From reading books to watching YouTube tutorials, getting a mentor, and investing in her education.
She wishes to attain goals and dreams and will strive to get there.
So, if you want to become that girl in 2023, you must invest in Knowledge and grow and read personal development books on areas where you need to change.
For example, if you’re a chronic procrastinator, read “EAT that Frog.”
Do you struggle with building and maintaining healthy habits? It will help if you read Atomic Habits. If you want to change your mindset and think like a Girl boss – then Girlboss by Sophia Amoruso is for you.
Are you a chronic people pleaser and care too much about what others think of you – The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuc*k is for you.
With so many books, podcasts, free YouTube content, and courses available, you have all you need to grow, build yourself, and become that girl.
Credit: Nadi
18. Build Healthy Habits
Habits are actions you repeat, intentionally or unintentionally.
Discover area(s) of your life that needs improvement and work on them one at a time.
One of my favorite aspects of learning to become that girl involves self-improvement, intentional living, and building new healthy habits such as organizing your life, drinking more water, exercising, taking care of yourself, etc.
I recently began reading The Psychology of Money, and I kid you not, this is one of the best finance books that doesn’t overwhelm you with numbers but almost feels like it’s “calling out your bad attitude with money.”
Whether we admit it or not, our experiences, environment, and upbringing shape our views and habits. But here’s the truth, to become better, you’ll need to learn and unlearn habits that no longer serve you.
While, building these habits is no joke, as it takes a lot to let go of unhealthy habits you’ve cultivated for a long time.
However, start with one healthy habit at a time -It can be switching your sleep routine from 12 am to 10 pm; this may look like a small change, but can positively impact your overall daily routine.
“Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity.”-James Clear
How Can You Build Healthy Habits?
- Have a mental picture of the person you hope to become (not someone else but yourself).
- Identify unhealthy habits you’re currently practicing that can’t help you become that girl you hope to be.
- List these unhealthy habits and good habits you want to replace them with.
- Start working on one habit at a time.
For example, If you have the habit of keeping everywhere messy. Start practicing the 5-minute rule (If it will take less than five minutes to do something, then do it immediately).
5 minutes Habits Such as;
- Making your bed
- Doing the dishes immediately after eating.
- Keep your dirty clothes in the laundry basket once you remove them.
- Saying positive affirmations to improve your confidence and mindset
- clearing and organizing your desk after work on study
- Making a to-do list of everything a day before.
- Putting things back in place after using them.
These tiny habits may seem insignificant and can be done in less than 5 minutes daily, but if you put it all together, you’ll significantly improve the quality of your life.
19. Be Consistent and Disciplined
Building new habits is difficult, and that’s the truth. However, it’s rewarding when you’re consistent with it.
Likewise, being consistent and disciplined is essential to become that girl because you’ll need to set goals and stick to them, even when it gets tough.
Because, some days, you’ll want to give up, but discipline keeps you on track, even when you face challenges and setbacks, and it’s rewarding.
Consistency and discipline will help you develop healthy habits, achieve your goals, build self-confidence, and cultivate positive relationships, which lead to a fulfilling and meaningful life.
Kindly note; that consistency and discipline are not about perfection. Instead, it’s about showing up every day and putting in the effort to create the life you want, even if you don’t feel like it.
So, you need to develop and consistently practice that girl habits if you want to build that girl lifestyle.
20. Be Confident and Love Yourself
That girl TikTok trend can become toxic, and you may lose yourself if you don’t have the basic principles that guide your life.
For example, one of my guiding principles in life is contentment, I don’t borrow to impress, and I’m contented with my little but work hard to achieve more (I’m one of those you can call overachiever).
Although most people are without guiding principles, they jump on trends without looking at the overall effect of that trend.
Never change or lose yourself just because you want to be that girl you see on Tiktok.
Be confident in yourself, and love yourself unconditionally and wholeheartedly because you’re unique, and no one else can be you.
Finally, while learning how to be that girl, pick only healthy habits and be confident in yourself.
Find a Balance, If you Feel “That Girl Trend” is Unrealistic
If you feel becoming that girl is unrealistic, start with understanding and accepting that you can’t model your life with what you see on social media.
The next step is making time for yourself. Yes, you work crazy hours, have a job, and maybe a toddler to attend to, or are navigating the messy life season.
Start by setting time aside to improve your life. It could be for an hour daily.
If you’re with your family, maybe a mom, consider waking up an hour early before everyone and practice “me time,” schedule activities, and track the time you spend.
You don’t need to exercise for an hour; moving your body to exercise tactics on YouTube or meditating will help you.
And it’s essential you list what’s important to you and consistently work on it. That way, you’re making the most of your little time without pressure.
If you feel like you’re out of time, you can;
- Exercise and move your body for 15 minutes.
- Journal for 5 minutes
- Mediate or do Yoga – 5 minutes
- Make a healthy breakfast and eat.
- Have a self-care shower – 20
- Practice your religious activities if you have one.
Another hack is mix-matching these activities and spreading them over the week instead of hoping to do everything a day.
This is far better, realistic, attainable, and a healthy morning routine to build.
My Thoughts on “That Girl’s” Aesthetics
If you’ve been following the That Girl trend, you’ll see that aesthetics is also important aside from “wellness and self-improvement.”
It’s big on aesthetics, looking put together, pretty videos, matcha, pretty gym wear, yoga outfits, videos of that girl waking up early at 5 a.m., reading, exercising, and other forms of self-care. It’s all about self-improvement and having a “near-perfect lifestyle.”
However, you don’t see the messy aspects because social media is only a fragment of people’s life they want you to see.
So, I recommend you focus on your self-improvement instead of aesthetics.
But then, if you want to switch up your life and add some aesthetics, here are some things you can do to create that girl’s aesthetics.
- Go for calming colors and stick to brown, beige, nude, white, green, and pastel aesthetics
- Get storage box dividers and organize everything in place.
- Consider getting your gym wear and yoga mats.
- Eat the rainbow colors (Healthy foods, vegetables, and fruits).
- Books, smart watches, flowers, fancy water bottles, plants, and minimalist wall art.
These are a few things you need to get by every day, but you want to create a matching home decor that promotes calmness and peace and allows you to be productive and mindful.
Become “That Girl” Frequently Asked Questions
Is “THAT GIRL” Trend Toxic?
Yes, that girl trend can be toxic because it showcases girls trying to achieve (or showcase) a perfect lifestyle by setting an “unattainable standard” and daily lifestyle.
If you’re trying to become that girl, it can motivate you to get your life in order, even the tiniest bit, like organizing your closet and putting things in place after using and building the right mindset.
For some others, dealing with mental health issues, eating or sleeping disorders, having toddlers or striving to make ends meet (spending time at work), and other underlying challenges can make practicing “that girl lifestyle” difficult.
“That girl” trend makes them feel like they are setting unrealistic expectations of themselves, which overwhelms them.
But if you look on the bright side, being that girl is all about working on yourself, but avoid mirroring your life based on what you see on social media.
Because that girl’s only show the good side and never the messy side.
For instance, you’ll see a video of them drinking matcha, but you won’t see the clip of how it spilled and how they had to wipe the surface to make their videos.
Or you don’t see the clip of how she’s so tired after working out and had to lie down for a few minutes –These imperfections are edited and will always be.
However, seeing this near-perfect lifestyle can make you compare and judge yourself when you don’t see what happens behind the scenes.
Hence, you need to define what works for you and stick with it. You can filter what you need, leave out what’s unimportant, and always be graceful and kind to yourself.
Hence, in this blog post, I’ve listed only the things you need to become that girl.
Yes, you’ll need to let go of some toxic habits and become more intentional about living, but it’s as realistic as possible.
Here’s a video of my favorite TikTok, “That girl,” Reena, showing the mess and reality- Use this as a reminder to focus on improving yourself and consistency over perfection.
Is that Girl Still a Trend?
Yes, that girl is still a trend and will be around for some time since it focuses on self-care, self-improvement, and making daily lifestyle “look pretty,” which, in a way, seems like the standard for social media accounts pursuing aesthetics.
And besides, TikTok and Instagram “THAT girl’s are mirroring” their lives this way to “become a better version of themselves“.
How to Be That Girl in 2023 Checklist
Here’s a quick “how to be that girl checklist” that you can download and keep handy to track your progress.
DOWNLOAD THAT GIRL CHECKLIST, PDF VERSION HERE
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Finally on How to Be That Girl in 2023
The idea of becoming that girl may seem like a lot of pressure, mainly because it looks like you’re modeling your life to look like someone else.
However, that’s wrong. You don’t have to model your life to be like that girl on Tiktok; you have to pick the good stuff and leave out things that don’t align with you and your guiding principles.
With that said, here are some things you should note;
- You’re you, and there’s no one like you anywhere in the World.
- You can pick up the good habits and leave the bad ones.
- Don’t be that girl to impress others – do it because you want to.
- Take your time, go at your pace, and don’t allow social media to pressure you.
- Choose progress and consistency over perfection.
- Be intentional about the energy and people you allow within your space, especially on social media.
- You can do it if you put your mind to it.
- Self-care is not selfish, be kind to yourself.
- Love yourself unconditionally, which helps kill the “inferiority complex.”
- Be thankful for every step you take.
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